On my last post I gave you guys a taste of who I am as an actual person and not some online persona. It felt refreshing to let that out. So I’m gonna take this post to dive a little deeper into the refreshing waters of Josh!
So the main questions I get asked is when did I know that I was gay or what made me gay?
My mom and dad made me and baby I was born this way.
When I realized I was gay was in second grade. Yes. I know. So young yet so knowledgeable right?
Well that is the first time I remember having some sort of feeling towards the same sex. I would get a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach when one particular little boy would talk to me.
The weird thing is we had the same name. So was it actually some form of early narcissism and I was actually in love with myself? Who knows really.
Either way he talked and I got shy. You know like you would see in one of those family sitcoms with two little kids from the typical hetero-normative white family.
That’s literally all the nineties really showed me on T.V during my childhood. Great shows just not very inclusive.
Well anyway back to my story. Me and the same name boy would ride to the Boys & Girls Club together. We sat together and I followed him like a groupie. Then it all changed on one spring day.
He kissed me.
Square on the lips.
It was a tap kiss but still a kiss nonetheless. The last time someone tap kissed me was a little girl at my mom’s friends wedding and I fainted.
This time I didn’t faint. I just stood wide eyed and shocked. Did that really happen?
It did. And I liked it.
I never felt like any of the “normal” kids around me. That moment confirmed it. Now you would think that this moment had me come out at an early age because I was so sure in who I was.
Not a chance!
In the coming years I questioned my sexuality as much as I changed my underwear. That’s daily by the way. I’m no pig.
I even questioned if I was meant to be a boy because I liked boys and the world told me only girls like boys. I realized that I very much liked my gender so that was one less confusing thing through the years.
I came out the summer before my senior year and I have been living my truth since then. I couldn’t be happier with who I am.Well that’s my story for today hope you all enjoyed it.